History As Re-written By High Schoolers

Robert Strand

The following are some answers turned in by students to their history teachers in taking tests. ENJOY:

  • littlekidsmilingDavid was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar...Solomon his son, had 500 wives and 500 more porcupines!
  • Without the Greeks we wouldn't have any history. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. The Greeks invented the Olympic games where they hurled biscuits and threw the java!
  • The Romans were called romans because they never stayed in one place and roamed everywhere. Nero was a cruel tyrant who tortured his subjects by playing the fiddle to them!
  • Then came the Middle Ages when King Alfred conquered the dames and the Magna Carta proved that no free man should be hanged twice for the same crime!
  • The Renaissance was the time when Martin Luther was nailed to the church door. He then died a terrible death by being excommunicated by a papal bull!
  • Gutenberg invented the Bible and Sir Walter Raleigh invented pipe tobacco. The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had abbess on his knees!
  • A great writer was John Milton. He wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife died and he wrote "Paradise Regained!"

So...what more can I say? It's back to the books for more study. And, probably, the only thing we learn about history is that we don't learn from history!

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...a time to weep and a time to laugh!" (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4)