Chest Hair and Hormones

She's the most gracious woman I've ever met, because she didn't say a word.woman rolling eyes

Like most moms, this morning found me scurrying about, tackling my list of motherly things to do. I've often wondered why God didn't have female representation on the planning committee when He created women.

If He would have asked, I would have voted for an extra arm. I'm not picky; a fold-away compact would have been just fine. I sure could have used one this morning.

I suppose it could have waited, but I'd been grieving my lost makeup brush for a week.

When I spotted its fluffy, auburn bristles peeking up at me from the basement counter I was awfully glad.

I figured at best I could handle my full-arm dilemma one of three ways: I could come back for it later, but it was a sure bet I'd forget where I'd seen it in the first place. I could carry it kitten style in my mouth, but as makeup brushes go it's rather large. Or, I could tuck it, tuft side up, in the V of my dress.

I opted to tuck. When I get upstairs, I'll put it in the bag.

I really meant to, but one look at the clock and I forgot.

Friend Susan and I were meeting in ten, and I was fifteen minutes away, which explains what happened next. I spritzed my graying, auburn hair, slipped on my shoes, and bounded out the door. I was late, and Susan had nearly finished her cheese blintz by the time I slipped into my chair.

Being ever the graceful one, she just smiled.

While I savored my pottage of vegetable soup, we chatted amiably. We covered the kids, the husbands, the goings-on-of life, even a little menopause. Most near everything. I say most near everything because, after returning home, I discovered one topic we'd left untouched.

Slipping from my V-necked dress, I found (to my dismay) the rather large, fluffy auburn makeup brush, tuft side up, still tucked firmly in my bosom.

Poor Susan. That explains why she didn't finish her blintz.

I'll bet she was praying,

"Oh, God, just ask, I'll do anything, anything at all. Give me a menopausal moustache, a sagging top and rounded derriere, but please, oh please, don't give me hair on my chest like Ronda."

Yup, that Susan, she's the most gracious woman I have ever met!

© Ronda Knuth,