I Hurt

     I stretch luxuriously as I wake up. The moment of luxury is brief as my muscles and joints creak and pop. It's a struggle to sit up. Pain is my constant companion. I wish I didn't have to deal with so much pain and fatigue. It's easy to become depressed.     

    I cringe and feel sorry for myself. I have just about given up driving because of my pain medication. Sometimes, I feel that I'm not worth much and that my life has been too short for all I want to accomplish. At times, I feel isolated and alone.

     Usually, a walk helps. As I go out into God's beauty of sights, sounds, and smells, it refreshes my body and my spirit. I live in a retirement community, and seeing those who can barely walk reminds me that I can still use my legs and feet.

    I can see and hear. I have many people who love me. I live in a free country—even though it does have problems, it is the only place I want to live. I have gifts that God gave me to bless others. Blessing after blessing fills my mind.

    My world can become very small and self-centered. But I have a computer, so it's possible for me to interact with the whole world with only a few keystrokes. I can read. What a joy to be literate!

    I sing and speak praises to God. It's amazing what a little smile, wave, or word of cheer can do, both in my life and the lives of others.

    God uses the pain in my life to teach me, to show me how to bring joy to others, and to bring glory to Him. I am growing in Christ and sharing the fellowship of His sufferings.     

    Because I have been homebound for so long, I've learned to deal with loneliness and solitude in healthy ways. Being alone has helped me to realize that I have the wonderful gift of writing. I am encouraged to see so many people being productive as writers after they retire. I can be fruitful for many years to come; my words will live on after I am gone.     

    I don't like to hurt. Some days, I rebel against it. However, I see God constantly at work in my life through my aches. Although life is not easy, I have the Lord. With Him, even chronic pain can be turned into blessings.