All couples enter marriage expecting their passion to stay as vibrant through the years as the day they wed. But without work and attention, many couples find themselves years later lacking excitement in their marriage. They spend less time together, have fewer conversations and less intimacy.
In the beginning, passionate feelings flourished without much effort, and romantic gestures seemed to come easily. But after awhile, infatuation fades, routine settles in and many couples forget to do the things that keeps their love alive.
So how do you get those feelings back for your spouse? How do you make the effort to keep the passion strong in your marriage? Dr. David Clarke suggests reversing the process. He explains that in a couple's early days, loving behaviors spring out of the loving feelings. Now, the couple must focus on the loving behaviors to bring back the feelings. He says, "Passion is like a fire. You must keep adding logs to keep it going."
Dr. Clarke provides two main "logs" that will help stoke the fires in your marriage:
1. You Must Be Romantic
Think about your days as a couple when you were dating. Try to recapture some of those romantic gestures, and be sure to take your spouse out on dates.
2. Create the "Mood"
Tell your spouse meaningful, loving things. Take your spouse to a romantic restaurant, not a family buffet.
Be romantic and set the moodSo what are some practical ideas on how to be romantic and set the mood for a loving marriage? Dr. Clarke gives some examples:
- Go on a date once a week
- Hold hands
- Walk together outside
- Slow dance to music
- Watch romantic movies
- Have candlelight dinners at home
- Write cards and letters
- Go on a weekend getaway
- Tell your partner what is romantic for you.
At first these behaviors may seem awkward, and they won't create a passionate marriage overnight. But keep doing them to set that romantic mood necessary for a passionate marriage.
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